The First Charge

I was very nervous about my first ever phone call, but I think it went well last night.

It last for 24 mins and there were points that I just didn't know what to say - Arrh! Panicking! However, the mentor was very helpful and supportive by keeping passing me notes. Ppl said the first charge was always the hardest and the most challenging, but it was really fulfilling to be able to help someone. It was a wonderful feeling to hear the caller thanking me as she felt much calmer after talking to me. Of course, there are heaps learning edges I identified myself and I still have a long way to go before I become a solo counsellor!

I was very attached with the call and I ended up having all sort of counselling dreams last night! Good practise, but I was so lack of resting that I couldn't function properly at work today!!

"Help!! I need another name apart from my real name!"
"How about Maybel?" Someone suggested.
"Huh? Why?" I was puzzled.
"Maybel Lin"
"Huh??? Why?" Confused, I was still.
" Maybe It's Maybelline~"
"..."

*Maybelline is a brand of make up

He would be proud!

He would be so proud of me if he had seen me tonight.

I was so enthusiastically (as always :P) to share (a.k.a show off) my knowledge of India to Indians at this farewell party. They were stunned by how much I know about Samosa Chat, Bhel Puri, Pani Puri, Dahi Puri, Rava Dosa, Masala Dosa, Utthapam, Mango Lassi, Masala tea, Gulab Jamoon, Mehandi, Water (2006), Fire (1996), Holi and Rakhi festivals!!! Apparently, I know more than they know about Indian culture :P Hahahah... It's so cool!!!

"Oh my God! You really know a lot about Indian culture!! "

"Do you have an Indian boyfriend?"

"...^^|||"

Do I know you...?

"Hi... Do I know you from somewhere?"

This seems to be my latest "pick up" line with random guys on the street.

Few weeks ago, I saw a guy in BK and I bluntly stopped him and asked him where did I know him from, then his name and all other details. He stood there and both of us tried very hard to think how we met without any success. After he left, my friend said to me,

"Is that your latest fishing technique? Because, it seems to work pretty well there!"
"... ^^|||" I was still very puzzled because I couldn't remember how I met him and it really bugged me.

This morning, it suddenly hit me - I know!!! We were in the same acting class last year!! That was a relief! Then, again, this afternoon on my way to my lecture, I stopped another guy and the same thing happened!

I just thought I would update this latest fishing technique, like before :P

You are amazing

"You are amazing!" She said to me after I told her what I have been up to these days.

It meant a lot to me to hear that, as she has been someone I really admire and love since the first day we met. She has been truly an inspiration for me and I remember I said to myself, I want to be just like her! It was very encouraging to hear that from her personally.

I know you are going through some tough time, my beautiful friend. However, hang in there because - For me, you are amazing!

Futureintech Ambassador

I am now one of the Futureintech* Ambassadors with a proud badge! It's so cool to have a title such as Ambassador even it is far from what a real ambassador is doing. Soon, you will be able to find my profile online. My first school visit will be my old high school and TALK in the assembly! It's gonna be intimidating, challenging, but interesting at the same time.

Pepole choose different ways to help out the community. Some do donation, some do volunteering work, some do WorldVision, and some just do their job well. For me, both Youthline and Futureintech are my way to contribute back to the society. A way to say thank you to those whom help me through difficult times.

I have always been lucky to have a lot of ppl to enlighten me and to give me guidance as I grow up. Even when there was no one, I was lucky enough to have the strength to go through some low patches myself. Now, I have fought my way though in this complex society and turned out to be fine. I know how difficult and confusing it could been so I want to help out by sharing my own experience. I hope I will make a difference and touch some ppl's lives, just like those who had make a difference to my life.

*Futureintech is an organisation to promote science, engineering and technology to kiwi kids by bring real scientists and engineers to classroom.

My girl, hiding at the corner
feeling hopeless
couldn't turn back time
couldn't move forward

I, who knows no better
feeling helpless
could only stare
could only share
that searing pain

I never said I wasn't damaged
But, I am here now
Let me hold your hand
Put my arms around
Piece by piece
We will glue ourselves back
Together - One day

Before Sunrise (1995) and Before Sunset (2004)

The back to back movie night went extremely well. Both movies were excellent choices for the wide diversity of the crowd. It has an romantic story line, but there were various and deep discussions on environmental issue, how media influences our live, relationship, reincarnation, travelling, poem, taking chance, live at the moment etc, which everyone seemed to enjoy it.

I thought that I had passed the phase of being passion about travelling, but the movies brought that part of me back to live. I guess it has never left me. I didn't thought I had much common with the story except I was in Europe for a year and backpacking for 4 months. However, when I woke up this morning, few faces and stories came to my mind, which made me have a strong connection with the movies now.

1. I did the same thing as the movie surprisingly on the train to Vienna. I met a girl and we had a very nice chat. I wasn't planning to stay in Vienna as I had been there so many times. However, she proposed an excellent idea which I couldn't possibly refused- seeing a play in the opera house for free. No one expected or waited for me in Slovakia, so I jumped off the train with her and spent the night in Vienna, just like the main characters.
2. Another time was on my way to La Tomatina (Tomato Festival) in Bunol, Spain. I met some random guy (again!) on the train. After a very brief chat, I trusted him enough that I gave him my camera and let him take me through the crazy festival. He didn't let me down. He made sure I had the best experience with all the flying tomatoes and protected me when ppl tried to rip my T-shirt all the way through the festival. I then went to his flat in Valencia for the second shower. Going home with a guy I had just met is a shocker even when I look back now. However, his generosity, hospitality and kindness left me with a soft spot for him and the country. And, yes, I do have his email, address and phone number :)
3. Then, not to mention, there was also a guy I liked and is married now.
   

"The movies were all about what if and I am just wondering have you ever wondered what if you didn't have him back then? Would you have done anything different?" She asked me.

I actually have pondered that question before. I think I would have either gone very wild or haven't had the strong intimacy with all my life time friends. Yes, without a bf I would have had more freedom, but at the same time I was glad to have him as my rock. No matter what happened, at the end of the day, I knew there was someone that I can turn to even he was on the other side of the world. I was very lucky to have that kind of security. And also because of him, I was able to make strong relationships with guys without worrying their or my attention as I made it clear no one was going to cross the line as it's a friendship only zone. With that attitude, I was able to open my heart completely to every single souls I came across and shared some special moments in our lives without fears or doubts. So what I am trying to say is

"No, I still prefer to have had him as my rock because I would never want to trade those special moments and friendships"

There are so many nice quotes from these movies and I have been discussing them in White Massi's comments, but here are some more!!

You know what's the worst thing about somebody breaking up with you? Is when you remember how little you thought about the people you broke up with and you realize that is how little they're thinking of you. You know, you'd like to think you're both in all this pain but they're just like 'Hey, I'm glad you're gone' (Before Sunrise, 1995).

Memories are wonderful things, if you don't have to deal with the past (Before Sunset, 2004).

I used to think that if none of your family or friends knew you were dead, it was like not really being dead. People can invent the best and the worst for you. (Before Sunrise, 1995)

I believe if there's any kind of God it wouldn't be in any of us, not you or me but just this little space in between. If there's any kind of magic in this world it must be in the attempt of understanding someone sharing something. I know, it's almost impossible to succeed but who cares really? The answer must be in the attempt. (Before Sunrise, 1995)

There was nothing to buy, no advertisements anywhere. So all I had been doing was walk around, think, and write. My brain felt like it was at rest, free from the consuming frenzy, and I have to say, it was almost like a natural high. I felt so peaceful inside. No strange urge to be somewhere else, to shop. Maybe it could have seemed like boredom at first, but it quickly became very, very soulful! (Before Sunrise, 1995)

OK, well this was my thought: 50,000 years ago, there are not even a million people on the planet. 10,000 years ago, there's, like, two million people on the planet. Now there's between five and six billion people on the planet, right? Now, if we all have our own, like, individual, unique soul, right, where do they all come from? You know, are modern souls only a fraction of the original souls? 'Cause if they are, that represents a 5,000 to 1 split of each soul in the last 50,000 years, which is, like, a blip in the Earth's time. You know, so at best we're like these tiny fractions of people, you know, walking... I mean, is that why we're so scattered? You know, is that why we're all so specialized? (Before Sunrise, 1995)

I have this awful paranoid thought that feminism was mostly invented by men so that they could like, fool around a little more. (Before Sunrise, 1995)

Art Making

I forget how much fun it was to make arts! Especially if you can have the ownership to the creativity. I used to paint when I was little, but I stopped because Dad always put too much input into all my winning pieces. The last painting that I made and loved was for a special friend 4 years ago. To date, I still can't believe he melted the paints to see what was written underneath! Silly boy!

Today at office, we were making arts for charity. I didn't want to just paint some pre-designed patterns by numbers. Don't get me wrong. They are all brilliant designs, but I knew I could do better (snob!). It was very intimating at the beginning to let others judge my ability. However, as I started putting some abstract patterns on the canvas, a vivid idea/vision came to me which got rid of my insecurity and no longer feared of making a complete fool of myself in front of others.

Art only makes sense if it means something to you. And this one does to ME.

My panting has a lot of circles and a very abstract roundabout/hub on top of it. I used bright red and blue directly out the tubes to illustrate a 3D arterial (What a pun! Both human body and roading use this terminology!) and the colour choices were associated with micro-simulation and network simulation packages that we are using at work :) I put both of my transportation and bioengineering background into it and it's priceless, as far as I am concerned (narcissist)!!! I named it About Round (Go figure!) and I absolutely love it, no matter what other ppl may think of it.

*click* *click*
My colleague was contributing to the art making event by taking pictures.

"Hey... you forgot my piece" I tried to complain.
"Where is yours?" He said, feeling sorry.
"There, that one!" I pointed my under progress art.
"OH! I thought that's a palette"

The Ring is Back on the Finger

However, for a different reason.

Three years ago, I found what I wanted in my life when I was in Greece and I bought this ring to symbolise my commitment to a relationship and a Master degree. I followed my heart back to New Zealand. It was the right decision at the time.

End of last year, I was once again lost. I took the ring down and searched for the answer in Taiwan alone. Eventually I found what I wanted - the relationship and working. I followed my heart once again back to New Zealand for the second time, but the relationship didn't work this time.

The journey continues without stopping in the last 6 months and now it finally feels right to put the ring back on to celebrate my growth, my moving on, my enjoyable work and my fulfilling life :)