I Chopped My Finger

I (thought I have) made the decision but that decision had made me very depressed for the entire Saturday, so maybe I was not following my heart. Then I went to Starlight Symphony after a tiring exhibition opening, and an unhappy suspicions made me realise that even I follow my heart, the other side of the coin is equally painful!

The depression really kicked in today and it's as painful as my chopped finger.

When you gonna realise it was just that the time was wrong

- Romeo & Juliet, Dire Straits

"I gave the finger to my manager and he smiled back to me! :D"

Where are My Paintings?!

I was very hurt when I found out none of my art works get selected (Damn! I forgot to bribe the judge!). However, I was able to put up a "it's okay" face during the dinner, but my disappointing tears came down quickly once we got into the car. :( I still love my paintings and believe they are brilliant, but it was hard to accept the fact that they didn't quite make it on the spot. Well, I guess at least it means that they won't get sold and I can still get to see them everyday at work.

Fortunately, I had few friends who gave me all the emotional supports that I needed through txts, especially from him. Those txts meant a lot to me tonight as when he shows his care, it touches my heart in a total different level. I knew that I can get over it in my own way eventually, but having him by my side made it much easier :)

Thank you!

"Can I come over? See you?"

Post Valentine's Day

There was at least 1 kg of chocolate sitting on my desk this morning when I came in.

Why? I would like to believe it's because of my elegant beauty and charm (Come on! Just let me have my moment :D and not so in a hurry to burst my bubbles yet :p) and they were too chicken to give those chocolate to me yesterday. Thus, they thought they could just "bring some" for me incidentally today.

Or, maybe they all had a great valentine's day and received too much of chocolate from their valentines.

Or, it may be simply that they were on special...

Dark and Twisty

It was a long three hour chat, which I am glad that we had. It didn't help with the decision making, but it was the most healthy and honest talk we have ever had. It clarifies a lot of suspicions, feelings, and issues, but also brings more questions, surprises, hurt and emotions.

The thorn had been deeply embedded in the heart. Now it has been brought up to the surface and every time the heart pumps, it hurts - sharply. It's gonna hurt more before I can take it out completely.

Time to settle. Time to heal. Time to stand up. Time to grow up. Time to let go. Time.

"I seem to relate to Grey's Anatomy a lot. That's why I love that drama!"
"You relate to Dark and Twisty? :p"
Yeah! You have no idea how relevant that comment is!

"How long is long enough?" He asked.
"Two years?!" She suggested.
"I can't wait that long! I will be so old!!!"

You have a choice to make...

With all that stress at work, I just have no room to deal with my own emotions and I have used alcohol to help my sleep :(

How much alcohol do I need to keep sleeping on a sleepless night?
Two shots of Slivo.
One before bed and the other one in the middle of the night when the first one went off.

Meredith: Time flies. Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds. All any of us wants is more time. Time to stand up. Time to grow up. Time to let go. Time. (Grey's Anatomy, 2007)

Finn: I know you think you're scary and damaged...
Meredith: Dark and twisty.
Finn: It makes you feel like you don't deserve good things. But you do. And Derek - he's bad for you. But me - I'm a good thing. And if there's a race, if there is a ring, my hat is in. (Grey's Anatomy, 2007)

Derek: It means you have a choice. You have a choice to make. And I don't want to rush you into making the decision before you're ready.
Derek: I, I just, I just want you to take your time, you know. Take all the time you need, because you have a choice to make. And when I had a choice to make, I chose wrong. Goodnight (Grey's Anatomy, 2007)

Tim Finn Rocks!

He had an umbrella with two free tickets and I had a blanket to sit on! We made a great team at this year's raining Auckland Zoo Music!

Despite the rain, this sold-out concert went on and Tim Finn made the wait and the wet all worthwhile!. The crowd was rocked by his utterly brilliant performance!!! I was so impressed with his awesome stage energy and can't believe he is in his mid 50 already!! He was jumping around energetically for the whole show! No doubt his white shirt was totally soaked afterwards!! (The crowd wasn't dry either, however, for a obviously different reason). I was only about 30 m away from the stage! How cool is that!!!

The song such as "Weather With You" has had a lot of sentimental memory attached to it since 2003 and it was great to be there to experience the song in person!! :D

Well there's a small boat made of china
It's going nowhere on the mantlepiece
Well do I lie like a loungeroom lizard
Or do I sing like a bird released

Everywhere you go you always take the weather with you
Everywhere you go you always take the weather
Everywhere you go you always take the weather with you
Everywhere you go you always take the weather
Take the weather, the weather with you

- Weather With You, Crowded House

Aftermath of the Regime Change

After a series of power sharing/transferring/grabbing,

I got nothing!!!

I was quite upset that I wasn't given more opportunity when individuals were obvious favoured to take over more responsibility!! I reckon that I am the most eligible candidate to learn the network package, in term of resource arrangement, experience, and intelligence!

The reason that I got really pissed off is not because others got promoted, but the feeling of I wasn't considered and appreciated!! Arrrhhhh!!!! It's just so upsetting!!! :@