Counselling Training

I was so whacked after 6hours intense counselling training. It was another amazing personal development opportunity for me to share my journey with others and to grow. I worked very hard to push my boundary especially in a large group situation. It's always easy for me to deal with a one-to-one based conversation, but to express my own believes/values/options in a large group in English has always be difficult. However, I was very pleased myself in the afternoon sessions to speak up my feelings to the whole group freely and even lead the whole group to thank the two facilitators for their wisdom and enthusiasm. I knew that the speech I did today was rather clumsy, but at least I did what I thought was impossible!!! It was a big step for me because last week, I really admired this gentleman who stood up in front of 75 graduates and gave a very appropriate thank you speech to the organisers from his own willingness. I remembered hearing myself saying, I wanted to do the same, but I wish I could have had his courage! He is actually the very one who made me very famous among all the graduates, HR and managers during the Graduate Orientation dinner. However, I was very inspired by him at that moment even he was still wearing my name tag!

Another interesting finding was about my comfort zone. I noticed how my body and mind react when I walked towards different genders and vice verse. My anxiety and tenseness shot up the highest when a male walking towards me, followed by walking towards a male, walking towards a female, and the female walking towards me. I always thought that in order to survive in this male dominated industry, I should have got so used to around males, but NO!! My arms, my chest were all tense and I couldn't breath when he walked towards me slowly. I also had to stop him from getting too close to me.

Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional! I like this quote and today I saw two living proof in our group. Especially this young man who is only 18 years old, but he was more mature than most of 25 years old boys that I know of. I am happy for him as he has such great potential to grow more!

Everyone was very exhausted by the end of the day, but I believe they are all as looking forwards as I am for the next 7 training courses with each other!

Unit Trust

After pondering for a week, I have made a serious decision to try some new things financially. I put some of my $pare money into a Unit Trust which enables me to invest a range of sectors from cash/fixed interest, property and shares in NZ and also internationally. It's risky, but I think I am at the best position to take one step ahead in learning how to manage money efficiently and the possibility of losses. My goal is to grow capital, but even if I end up losing some money, I'll just take it as a fee for a precious lesson for the future.

I actually have learned a lot about share, bond, trust, retirement, risk management, cash management, inflation, diversification, and investment strategies, since I took the initiative of finding a better way to manage my finance. It's always exciting to learn something which is totally out of your field, such as working at transportation while I didn't do civil engineering :P

Move out and in

They moved OUT and they are moving IN next week! So much of freedom and independence of my own! Oh well~ That happens! Let's just concentrate on what I can do this week.

I went to bought some significant essentials to celebration of being living alone again. The last time I have done that was 3 years ago in Europe.

• Knife: I need a good one to cut meat - Human if necessary :P
• Smoke alarm, Door bell and Timer plug: Again, for protection!!
• Bean Bag!!!: After suppressing my eagerness for 6 years since the first time I laid my eyes on it, I finally bought myself a Bean Bag to indulge myself. It's so awesome!! I love it! It's a TIGER so I am sure it'll protect me!
• Shoes: Err....how can I justify this? How about... I need one so I can run faster when I have intruders. Yeah~ See, it's necessary for my own safety!

Yes, as you can see, I am a little bit apprehensive of looking after the big house by my own, but I am so excited about it at the same time especially I have my own Bean Bag now! Why has it taken me so long to realise it's totally worth it? Yeah! Bean Bag! The second best human invention after ear plugs.

Graduate Orientation

I was 30 mins late than normal (because my graduate orientation started later than my office hours) and my bus dropped me at an unusual place, but guess what? He and I still run into each other at this ramdon place which I have never passed normally to go to work! I started wondering whether or not he put a GPS device on me to track me down whenever he feels like!! Very spooky!!

The orientation was very informative and fun today. I got to network with a lot of ppl and I really enjoyed meeting different ppl from other offices around NZ and Australia. The dinner went spectacularly well especially after a couple glasses of wine, ppl were getting too friendly. The name tag swapping made my reputation over the top! Ppl had this astonishing expression on their face when they found out my real name. They all went "Right!! So you ARE the Anita Lin!!", which made me a bit worried. Meanwhile, the other Anita Lin was trying to kiss the other guy and introducing himself to everyone he met, including the doctors passing by our restaurant in Ponsonby! Everyone knows my name now, which I am still unsure whether it's a good thing or not. I really hope my name is not going to make the headline tomorrow. However, I don't really care, as I actually enjoy my 15 mins fame. It probably has something to do with me being tipsy :) I better go to bed now before I wrote down all the dodgy stories :P

Falling in Love

How fast can you fall in love with someone? For me, it only took one hour. I have never met a person so inspiring, so energetic, so upfront, so sophisticate, so loving, so gentle, so caring, so cheerful, and so full of amazing life experiences. I am running out of words to describe her, but I love her - spiritually! The weekend with her was an awesome experience. She is the person that I want myself to be and I am so inspired by her!

How fast can you fall in love with music? For me, it only took one second. The upbeat and melodic rhythms transformed me into a loving exotic dimension where I have never been before. I let myself go and started dancing so freely until I dropped.

Few ppl and I had asked myself how to define a friendship and a romantic relationship. To be more precisely, how do you know it's LOVE. After this Easter weekend and falling in love twice unexpectedly, now I know! The answer is "You will know!"
I know it's probably not the answer you were looking for and it sounds very lame, but it's true. Love always hits you when you are least expected and when it's right, YOU KNOW!! I know!

I just remember one of my favourite quote which would be perfect to finish off today's blog:

Dance like no one's watching;
Love like you'll never get hurt.
Sing like no one's listening;
Live like it's Heaven on Earth.

- Anonymous

Desperate Lonely Single Woman

It all started with my fishing plan for species XY and I guess I deserved my new nickname from him - Desperate Lonely Single Woman.

Well, for those who are interested, here is the final score for fishing. *drum roll* *drum roll* I WON by quantity with two phone numbers, one free CD sample and being picked up once. However, the rest of group would argue with me quality-wise, as boys actually got one opposite sex's phone number each and she got the email address from a Brazilian guy. But..but, am I allowed to fool to myself that I won the contest still??? Come on! I am desperate!!

Anyway, my 4 days Easter weekend started with a flat warming which the conversations took a turn for the worse when geeks started talking about cricket. I decided to walk away as I wasn't in a mood of making a effort, but looking forwards to my weekend in Taupo and Rotorua. Fortunately, he came to rescue me out! I didn't have to drive, but keeping up all the nasty sarcasm from him until I lost my voice wasn't an easy job either. I enjoyed his company even the 4 hours road trip in a small limited space almost made us kill each other :P It has been a long while that I spent such a long time with him without feeling the uncomfortableness!!

The weekend in Taupo and Rotorua was very spontaneous and relaxing! We did a lot of walking around Lake Taupo, dancing like crazy during Jambalaya (a festival of rhythm, dance and carnival), doing all sort of gymnastic flips at playground, and soaking into nature hot spring...Mummm~~ even though all my arms, legs and abs were so sore the next couple of days. The highlight of the weekend has to be sneaking into the backstage of the Saturday Party 2 hours before it started. There was this fantastic Brazilian group rehearsing on stage. Their performers amazed all of us. We just can't refuse but to dance with the rhythm in that awesome carnival atmosphere! It was like we had our own band and we danced like no one was watching! Ironically, my freestyle was categorised as Samba by our group and I was told I was such a brilliant Samba dancer by nature!! I was almost out of breath after a song or two, but I had so much fun and freedom to do all sort of crazy things!! Another achievement was that I also completed my Trampoline 101 with basic bouncy rhythm and I can't wait to see my master next time to learn real flips!!

We came back on Sunday afternoon and I went tutoring the kids. This week's challenge was how to break up and parenting skills (Me?!?!) I must had given at least an hour extra counselling session for the teenager and the Mum. By the time I came home for dinner, it was 9 pm and I was starving and exhausted!!

However, there was no time to be lazy, so I went to do my two hours coastline tramping with him from Mildford to Browns Bay. Fortunately I didn't get too wet, considering it was Easter Monday which according to Slovakian tradition, all the girls are receiving buckets of water from guys for blessing! After the tramping, we had some lunch at this recommended cafe to reward ourselves for all the hardwork we did that morning. I couldn't help but showed off my latest passion for Latin music when he drop me back home (Yeah, I know! Can you believe it? I actually bought some CDs at Jambalaya) in return for his Easter eggs.

After my grocery shopping and cooking, I was finally able to sit down with a cup of tea and my book after this energetic long weekend! I am now so ready to go back to work tomorrow!!

The Joy Luck Club (喜福會) in Parnell

After a year working in Brazil and leaving her boyfriend behind for a year, she came back to New Zealand and worked. This year, she took him with her to Brazil to experience a totally different life style with major culture shocks. It was a very similar story with mine, except their love is getting stronger after three and a half year.

She broke up with her 7 years boyfriend when they were both in their homeland. During her one week extending stay, something amazing happened - she fall in love with another guy unexpectedly in 5 days. They were engaged the rest of their lives together on the day she left for New Zealand. She is flying back to get married this July for their first kiss at the wedding! THAT is the story of the year!

He has always been her mentor for years. A few days coincident travelling together oversea had brought them closer to each other ever. It was going to be another long distance relationship, but he decided it's time to move back to Auckland and start his own business.

Then, there is the poor little me with a broken heart!

However, I have never felt so loved by three beautiful women. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard! Thank you, Ladies! It's a pity that they can't go fishing for guys anymore coz they are all taken, so in return to their loving-kindness to me I'll have to take ALL the fishes for them. It's a tough job, but someone has to do it. A vivid plan was established outside of the patrol station for all the possible fishing locations :

• The flat warming on Friday
• The road trip down to Taupo and the Jambalaya Festival at Rotorua on Saturday/Sunday
• The tramping that I organised on Monday
• My colleagues? Nah... you don't screw the crew! However, colleagues from OTHER company are acceptable. *Wink* *Wink*, *Nudge* *Nudge*
• All my clients. Humm...except that I have none right now, but how about Truck Drivers? They are the closest thing that I can get
• The 'man of the year' whom she met and had a crash on this year
• Her Tango teacher
• The black humour guy who I kept bump into in the street
• Youthline training group (*cough**cough* I am not taking the advanture of those vulnerable poor teenagers. That's just immoral!)
• Flatmates

Yeah, yeah I know what you are thinking. Am I that desperate? Let me quote something from last week.

"Hey, I am taking Anita as my date for tonight's dinner. Is that alright?" She asked her fiance.
"Sure!! But, will you take a picture for me, if you two make out tonight?" He replied with his typical smirk.

"Yeah! I got a date!!! I got a date~~" I was singing with my little dance.
"Sorry sweetheart, but I am not a guy, " She continued and waved that ablaze diamond on her finger "and I am taken."

"Well, I am not exactly that picky these days!!" I said. Then, everyone in the room crack out laughing!

What's Your True Color?

I have just done a What's Your True Color? test and my true colour is orange. I am sorry if that disappoints ppl who thought my colour was going to be red. I was quite surprised how my colour changed from Blue to Orange in the last 4 months. I am definitely more confident than I was ever before, so in that sense, this test is quite accurate :) I think I probably have both colours in me and it just depends on which colour shines more on different ppl around me at different stages of my life.

Let me know which colour do you think is more me and also what's your true colour :)

You're a bold, confident orange. A warm, powerful color that indicates a strong, welcoming personality, orange is the mark of people who are social and extroverted by nature. Vibrant, with an upbeat attitude, you have a bright, inviting demeanor. Energetic and fun-loving, you're a real friend-magnet. Your easy charm and unassuming manner make you the sort of person people want to meet and get to know better. Well-rounded and fun to be around, you enjoy helping others, so it's no surprise that orange also symbolizes attraction. Orange is an extraordinary color — for an extraordinary person.

You're blue — the most soothing shade of the spectrum. The color of a clear summer sky or a deep, reflective ocean, blue has traditionally symbolized trust, solitude, and loyalty. Most likely a thoughtful person who values spending some time on your own, you'd rather connect deeply with a few people than have a bunch of slight acquaintances. Luckily, making close friends isn't that hard, since people are naturally attracted to you — they're soothed by your calming presence. Cool and collected, you rarely overreact. Instead, you think things through before coming to a decision. That level-headed, thoughtful approach to life is patently blue — and patently you!

Alcohol

I really don't enjoy the aftereffects of alcohol i.e. pounding heartbeat, the flushing, the itching, nausea, loss of vision/speech/balance/voice, hypothermia and being sleepy. However, hypocritically I have been having little drinks consecutively in the last three days. Doh!

Yet, it did help me with a good night sleep without dreaming about how a 2 lanes roundabout model should look like, but some sweet dreams which I can no longer have in real life. Nevertheless, when the reality hit in the morning, I felt very disorientated and disappointed to wake up.

I am having the best time of my life - albeit at my sorest time.

Re: 我希望你好好的

心    總是隱隱地痛
血    還是汨汨地滲

於我    那累累的傷痕
依舊清晰如悉
時間    空間    仍然太近

他    傷我傷得太深
但希望有一天
我能    跨過那曾經不可原諒的錯
圓滿自在的好好愛個人

P.S. The English translation could be avalible on request

A 14 years old girl's wisdom

I went to my weekly Math tutoring a.k.a teenager counselling as usual today. This week, I was in need of time management skill, so I went through Stephen Covey's theory of time management matrix and did a daily based exercise together with her. She was very amazed that there was such a practical tool available. I think if I have more time, I'll go through the rocks, sand and water theory with her next week.

In the end of our class, she was shy of sharing her view of life, but I encouraged her.

"Every one is like a book and there is a giant reading all our stories from above!" She hesitated for a while and then continued.

"Every page of that book is a year of human life. The more splendidly you live your life, the better the book is! So, I want to enrich my life as much as I can and make sure the book I am writing is as unique and commendable as possible!!"

I was stunned by her vivid metaphor and wisdom. Suddenly, what I had taught her on that day was so insignificant compared to what she had just taught me!

A beautiful Day

I went shopping with the expert today and between two of us, we had 6 pairs of shoes, 2 tops and a pair of trousers. Surprise! Surprise! My booty was twice of hers!! I was only aiming for ONE pair of comfy working shoes and end up with THREE pairs of uncomfy but essential for every beautiful woman like me, according to the expert! How could I argue with that!

After the shopping, I met up with a friend in a very cozy cafe in Kingsland for an ice coffee (except that there was no ice coz they run out of it.). I didn't know I had so much melancholy energy cumulating inside me until I cried beautifully in front of her. Ppl keep telling me that I am a very strong person. However, I had fooled everyone including myself. Sometimes, I wish I wasn't so stubborn and I could just show my suffering/heartache/weakness freely like most girls. For me, it's an extravagancy/indulgence to be looked after, but I could really get some hugs these days. I was relieved after I faced myself truly at the coffee shop. It was fortunate to have her to witness that beautiful moment! I felt very safe and loved when I was with her. Thank you my friend.

She showed me some of her stories for the national television and I was very touched by the one she made about Taiwanese's identities in NZ. My trip to Taiwan last year has taught and make me understand WHO I AM. Once you live in more countries, it could get more confusing who you really are. I realised that I had been living in my own nutshell based on my own assumptions and generalisations, but forget to update my knowledge from my previous lives. I was very lucky to have that reflection and refind myself again. I also saw the story that I was in it. It's very uncomfortable and embarrassing to see myself on TV. Coincidentally, in the show I was enquiring about Youthline at the Auckland volunteering center 4 months ago and now I am about to start my training course for Youthline this month!! The weirdest thing is I hate dealing with teenagers. I am more a kid person, even though I know I will be a good consulter for teenagers!! We will see!

It was a beautiful day

Don't let it get away

Beautiful day

Touch me

Take me to that other place

Reach me

I know I'm not a hopeless case

What you don't have you don't need it now

What you don't know you can feel it somehow

What you don't have you don't need it now

Don't need it now

Was a beautiful day

- U2, Beautiful Day

My first week at work

The first week has been really fast and fantastic!! Ppl at the office are really nice to me and the projects that I am working on are all interesting. However, just ask me again in a month time (Humm...that would be the paid day or actually try in 2 months) and don't be surprised that I may give you the totally opposite answer :P

I also have more confidence now in my abilities at workforce after a week. My multi-culture background, board knowledge/interests, variety of life experience and cheerful personalities make it easier than ever to network with all sort of different ppl. I feel very comfortable at work even I know the least of what transportation is all about. I am very satisfied/surprised at myself picking up everything so quickly and methodically. My 6 years E-sci training has been proven to be very handy and relevant at work! It gives me the easy attitude towards any software packages and modelling consideration. On top of that, the Masters training helps me ask the crucial/right questions and allow me to absorb all the concepts at once. To my surprise, my Slovakia project management experience has been also very useful in all the file management and administration stuff!!

Getting up so early and taking the bus to work everyday don't bother me at all. In fact, it has always been my favourite time of the day since my university life. It doesn't matter either I let my thoughts wander around freely or ponder some issues in my life. Most of important thing is, I spend some time with myself alone!! Of course, there are few things that I find very annoying and am still trying to get used to. I don't mind dressing up everyday (I rather enjoy it), but I hate ironing. Actually, I am helpless to do ironing myself! Wearing uncomfy shoes also gets me! Why can't everyday being the Global Casual Dress Day :(

I feel like writing a short update of this significant week, because there were so much happening...

• Monday - First day at work! I love my buddy! She is very sweet (was using 'nice', but apparently, it became too cliche because I describe everyone I liked for first impression 'nice'!) and gave me a super detailed introduction. She is a German! That's probably why she is so nice :P. I also received two txt messages from friends to check on my first day at work. Thank you, guys.

• Tuesday - Learning transportation modelling package was fun! However, I was also feeling very exhausted in that evening already and the week was still not even half way yet!! I blamed the shoes! Actually, the real reason that made me a bit depressed was I found myself got lost in a huge crowd during the company annual function. The feeling of not fitting in a group was back. You thought after so much moving around and changing environments, you will find a better and better way to deal with this feeling, but NO! It was as hard/awkward as my first time of changing school. I escaped from the event and run away clumsily with my buddy. The loneliness made me miss someone so much and that upset me even more. That night, the person unblock me in MSN and said 'hello' to me out of the blue though. It made me feel slightly better.

• Wednesday - Hello! Sunrise! It was a long day as I had to do my first site visit at 7am. I had seen 5000 Aucklander stories at a glance in 6 hours. The traffic survey wasn't a rocket science, but I got to watch the traffic for 6hours. It reminded me the person that I used to watch traffic with. I missed the time we had with some fresh bread from the nearby bakery. It also refreshed my memory of few ppl that I used to watch girls passing by and gave rating out of 10. I missed them. There was no cloud at all and my new sunglasses became very practical indeed. I also learned to appreciate the speed limit sign as it was the only shade that was available for the entire day. I shifted along the shadow playing my own hide (in the shadow) and see (the traffic). The truck drivers liked to say hi to me, which often gave me a fright. Their friendly gestures - honking, made me feel like I am part of transportation, so I kindly waved back to them :) Sitting on the concrete barrier, however, was such a pain in the butt (literally!)
  

• Thursday - Starting my first real modelling project in Tauriko! I run into an old friend outside of my company, who I hadn't seen for a year! He kept asking me what happened to me coz I apparently looked great (I guess, my business woman outlook with my straight hairs can fool so many ppl), then I run through all the possible reasons until he was satisfied. His nearly offensive black-humour personal attack made me so stunned that I didn't know how to reply like always. Hopefully, we can find some other time to have a drink or dinner to have a proper catch up next week. Like a date? You never know ;) I also received an email from Spain who I haven't had a contact with since last May. Today was a lost&found friends day!

• Friday - Yeah, no uncomfy shoes coz it's casual Friday!! I thought I would have to say byebye to all my long breaks and long lunch after I start working, but today we had morning tea which ppl take turns to bring different sweet and savoury food, then I had a 2hours lunch with my new colleagues and there was the Friday drink. However, I worked very hard for the rest of the day at another project and billed them all to our client. My hourly rate isn't cheap!

Memory folder

昨夜，相思是蠶 (Last night, missing was like a silkworm )
而我是那桑葉 (And I was that mulberry leaf)

- A quote that I liked a lot since senior high school

There has been a few letters, cards and postcards cumulating everywhere in my room since I came back from Slovakia in 2004. It was time to dust and put them away, I thought, as I am about to start another new page of my life - working, tomorrow.

I read through my love and frindship traces in the last two years and sorted them by name and time. There are people who left me, who are still continuesly walking beside me for many years, who rejoined my journey again, and of course who start new exciting pages in my memory folder. I really appreicate everyone who were part of my life in the last two years. All those memory are either joyful, proud, enlighting, depressing, frustrating, agnry, painful, or hurt, but they are all priceless to me. Each page tells a wonderful story. Some are still too heavy or sensitive to touch and some which I know no more messages are going into. Sadly, it's time to seal them and put them away. Time will heal all the negative emotions and the next time when I reopen my memory folder, they will be just a part of stories amount others.

Meanwhile, I would like to quote one of the messages that I recived to thank all who loved/love me and be part of my life journey for either bring me lessons or joys. Thank you for being there.

Some things are worthwhile
No matter what they cost.
The memories alone are priceless.
You are worthwhile.

- A lost love

Hamilton Trip

"Can you bring Wendy when you come to visit us?" She asked.
"Wendy? Do I know any Wendy?" I was very puzzled.
"Yes, Wendy's, the burger!!"

That's right, there is no Wendy's in Hamilton and they haven't had it for more than a year!! So my mission to Hamilton had never ever been so important and meaningful. Not only I can expand my safety driving territory and visit friends, but also bring down 4 burgers and nuggets WARM!! The driving was very pleasant except it was a bit hard to keep the speed under 120km/hr. The food was delivered with love and warmness (literally!) after one and a half hours and I had the best Wendy's ever because I was eating it them. I am glad that I took the trip down as I had a very fun and educated afternoon to catch up. I also learned so much about the World of War (Computer game), car, driving technique, cheese, milk, lemon&honey tea, hip replacement and sex education (Yeah, with the textbook illustration! Very informative!!)

I had to leave before it all got too dark because I can't see at night. Besides, I needed to see my patient back in Auckland as the irresponsible Love Doctor. After an hour consultation dinner, I decided to go home, even though I was also invited to sing Karaoke and play badminton. However, I was a bit tired after this long day (Silly Wendy's doesn't open until 10am, which made me wait for an hour until it opened!).

Yeah!! It's great to visit friends!
Yeah!! It's even better to drive alone to Hamilton and back without killing anyone on the road :)

Going once, going twice...ANITA SOLD!

After consulting with various friends and family constantly around the world this week, I finally made the decision of who I should sell myself to. I will start my first real job next Monday and I look forwards to this new page of my life.

During the last 2 weeks, I have realised a couple of things. First, how many similarities between a job and a relationship and how much you can learn from one to the other. For example,

1. Job v.s. Partner hunting
2. Company research v.s. Finding out more about the persons who you may be attractive to.
3. Showing the interest by either having a vacancy ads or the cold letters to companies v.s. Asking ppl out for the first dates. Of course, it's totally ethical to show multiple interests in different companies/candidates/girls/guys at this stage.
4. Job v.s. Love CV. I just thought it would be interested to write a Love CV where instead of having the Work Experience section, you have a Love Experience where you put down the dates, and some description about your previous relationships. Of course, you need to spend some time to work on your Love CV to make sure you sell yourself well and you have learned so much from them.
5. Interview v.s. Date. Making sure you feel equal and comfortable with the other party during the interview/date. It's not only for the other party to get to know you, but also for you to find out more about the other party.
6. Reference checking v.s. Finding more about your date by asking his/her friends.
7. Job offer v.s. Would you like to be my boyfriend/girlfriend. Sure, now things get more serious and exciting, and it's time to make the decision. Would you like to make the commitment with the other party now or maybe there are jobs/someone better going to happen to you latter? So, you take some time to compare all the pros and cons of all your offers and decide what's the best for you.
8. Contract and review v.s. Love contract and love review. It's another thing that I thought it would be cool to have in a relationship. You can negotiate what you want from the relationship and how you like to be rewarded. And the best of all, you can renew your love contract every now and then. You also need to review your relationship often. Whether or not both parties are happy with each other is important! Are you ready to take the relationship to the next level?
9. Resignation v.s. Breaking up. Both need a great deal of maturity from both parties.
10. Bottom line is there is no such thing as a perfect job or a perfect partner. It's all about whether or not you are compatible with the other happily. If you stop learning and growing, it's time for you to move on. After all, NZers on average change their jobs 7 times, while the average number of partners is 10.5 around the world.

Okay, that came out unexpected! Let's get back to the other three important things that I actually benefited from my decision making this week. First, I found decision making simulation technique very useful. It was basically how I made my decision in the end. I picked one choice and see how much I like/hate that decision. Secondly, when I evaluated all the pros and cons of my job offers, I found out that I really want to go back to Europe at some stage. The company that I chose in the end, has less advantage in that concept, but as far as I am concerned now, it's all about being good at my field; I believe that I can easily find another job with my skills in Europe when the right time comes. Last but the most precious, I value all my friendships more than I knew. Two of my best friends are working at one of my job offer companies and I have never thought it would weight so much on my decision making. The last thing I would like to do is to jeopardise my friendships by working in the same team with them.

Anyway, here are the three main reasons that I took the job.

1. I like transportation more than environmental engineering.
2. I get along with this manager better. (I am scared of the other one slightly coz he doubted my English ability in both interviews.)
3. This job offers me a better benefit package overall. (It has nothing to do that they offer me a window seat!! Really!)

Me, too

I thought hearing someone called me the Love Doctor is pretty random, but I was wrong. The conversation that I had with my friend today was even weirder.

"Wow!! Look at you! You are amazing! You look so good and happy," That was what she said to me when we met up for a coffee. "What is new? What happened to you?"

"Huh? Am I?" I wasn't doing anything with my outfit as I was just being....me.
"Breaking up?!" (If that's the answer she was looking for...) *Eye-rolling*

"Me, too!!" She exclaimed with joy and excitement.
"Huh?" That was by far the strangest but the coolest response I have ever seen/imaged about hearing breaking up. "Oh My God?! You too?"
"Yeah!! Isn't it wonderful? I am so happy for you!!" Okay, that's just too outside-the-box thinking!

"When did you break up?"
"February."
"Me, too!!" This time was me exclaiming with joy and excitement.

The next thing I know, we were screaming and hugging at the Starbucks to celebrate (?) the news.

It's such a weird but joyful afternoon!

The last day of the summer

I finally went to Rangitoto Island for tamping after living in Auckland for almost 10 years. The weather was brilliant and the three companions were very pleasant to be annoyed by my are-we-there-yet trick. Sorry guys :P. I wasn't fit as you all would have expected if you have ever unfortunately gone tramping or playing sports with me, but they were all patient enough to wait for my enjoying-scenery-breaks. Those dark lava caves were my favourite. You can see nothing when we were crawling in there. We finally reached the top and I remembered why I keep coming back tramping - the breathtaking view (+ the long break they finally gave me and the food).

Under our Time-keeper's strict supervision , we got back to the ferry on time and had a few "friendly" card games on the way back to the city. Then, it's time to reveal the secret of bubble tea which my companions were so curious about from my blog. We had fun in that restaurant, with bubble tea investigation, magical crystals lost-and-found, and that never-ending table football until we almost lost the coin!!

I was exhausted after my shower, but I felt like having a quiet night with some friends coming over. It was organised as a DVD night, but we never got around to it. It was a very open minded evening with 2 open minded girls. We were there for each other's problems without judging until 3am when we barely had energy to continue a sentence. I knew it was time for the EVIL Absinth!! I played my favourite trick with sugar and fire for her and then I had a sip. Yuck! I forgot how disgusting this drink is!!

Just before we all agreed to go to bed, she said to me
"Anita, you are like a Love Doctor!"
"Huh? Why?" I was humble by that compliment.
"Because you seem to have all the answers for relationships." She continued.

The daylight saving ended that night and I have/was acknowledged what a big step I have taken in my life and how much I have grown in the last 4 months. I went to bed with a grin that night.

Goodbye, Summer!

Making a pact with the angel

I wasn't so panic or surprised when I found out that I lost my cellphone. After all, I have already had few sad days and nothing could upset me more. In a way, I was hoping it would be a turning point of my rollercoaster mood swing - a new start with my social life. I am sure the movie was really good because I was very lost. Anyway, my knowing kong-fu friend was kind enough to go back with me to the Albert Park where I was reading and helped me look for my phone after dark. Well, we didn't find it.

I got home and found the door highly secured - double locked and a chain. There was only my brother's gf home and she told me that some kiwi guy called for finding my cellphone in the park. She was scared because my brother gave him our address and then went out. I wasn't relieved nor disappointed, but tranquil about the whole thing. I wasn't so sure whether or not I wanted my phone back. I was only taking the ride passively without any emotion influences. We waited for two days without hearing further news about my cellphone as my brother didn't ask his contact detail.

Then, I remember what I was thinking on the bus home that evening. I was about to make a pact with the devil/angel. I was going to give up on something, if I could get my phone back. Thus, I rethought the pact and modified it to something is still hard to achieve, but good for my soul. I think I was dealing with the angel as what I am giving up is something really disgraceful.

"Sis!! Your phone is in the mailbox!!" That was the result on that evening. How freaky!

However, now I have my phone back. I start thinking what a pity!! I had those fantasies to meet this nice angel guy, but he only drop it in our mailbox anonymously. My knowing kong-fu friend thinks that was my plan all along and I should try car crashes next time, then I can get their address detail as well :P. I may take up his advice. It depends on how desperate I am. After all, cellphone is much cheaper than fixing cars!!

Taiwan Trip

I went back to Taiwan for 3 months and it was a life changing experience which has more effect on me than my 1 year in Europe. It wasn't so easy to grow 5 years old within 3 months, but I was forced to. A lot of my believes and values were completely destroyed and got rebuild again. They are what I believe more healthier and completed. Some of the processes came unexpected or even brutal. I had to learn them in a hard way, but it makes me a more understanding person now. I have found myself once again with wisdom and confidence.

It has been exactly one month since our breaking up. I have gone through blaming myself, feeling gutted, wanting to give it another try, moving on, finding out some news, feeling angry/betrayed/hurt/cheated, trying to be friends, trying to be a bigger person than I really am by giving my blessing, feeling very foolish, despising his disgrace behaviour, facing my real emotions and then now moving on with my own life. I thank all my friends who have supported me in all different ways in the last month. You help my healing by simply being there to listen, to provide me with your shoulders and wisdom, and to be more furious/shocked than I am. And I just love some of your first reactions! :)

Being alone doesn't equal to be lonely, I've found. Life is all about experiencing different things and be honest with yourself. It is his lose that he didn't get the chance to know the new me, but there is nothing keeping me from moving on now. I have been honest with him and myself for making all the effort in the last month. For me, that's all the matter. There are so many challenges that I was planning to add to my life and I have found the joy of fulfilling most of them by myself since I came back.

* 3 exhilarating job interviews + 1 job offer
* Gathering with the Taiwanese gang
* Driving to Bay of Plenty with my failed car warrant and catching up with the AIESEC gang
* Summer Shakespeare- The Comedy of Errors
* Been a candy Santa to catch up with the Bio gang
* Classic Comedy Show. I love Sam Wills! He made me laugh again
* Get involved with Youthline
* Library books by Paulo Coelho, Jostein Gaarder, Roald Dahl, C. S. Lewis
* Paid my vehicle license fee and get my Warrant of Fitness finally
* Organising 2 movie outings and 3 lunch dates for the coming week

I am sure the achievement list is getting longer and longer as I am also going to see Auckland Theater Company - Wheeler's Luck, dress shopping&girl's night and a lunch date in the next 3 days. I am looking forwards to my life and sharing them with all of you who care enough to read this blog.

ps. Oh~ If I ever lose my mind and am jumping into another relationship in the next 6months, please slap/hit me or kill that person :P