Last Day at Work

It was the last day of the year at work and everyone was surprisingly busy including me! However, it was a short day as everyone was ready to relax by 3pm with some bubbles. Few of us then went for dinner and then Go Karting to celebrate the end of hardworking year!

It was such a bad idea to try and race with boys, especially I thought I could! Silly me! After few minor crashes, I came to this tight corner and I thought I could overtaken another girl just like the rest of boy gang, then BANG! I hit into the concrete barrier so hard that my right leg didn't like it at all. Despite the injuring, I was still aggressive but slightly conservative due to I can't step on accelerator fully anymore (Not because I have short legs!). Come on, I have to act up to the reputation, right? Female, Asian Driver and all that!

I must have been a good girl this year because Santa dropped another surprise tonight - My old TV works!!! After Go Kart, my colleagues came back to my place and I was gonna show them my late best friend. Thus, I turned on its life-support system and it was magically working perfectly!! How weird and wonderful is that!!! (It should have nothing to do that he kissed the TV, right?)

We then played some board games at my place and some quotes are definitely going to win some of them the X'mas Awards next year for sure!!

"What's the other name for a Wonder Bra?" Girl team asked.
"Humm....I don't know exactly what's a wonder bra, but I know the colour. Does it count??"
"Huh????!!!!"

How he knew the colour when he had NO IDEA what's a wonder bra is still a mystery!!

First X'mas Present

It was a very nice surprise to come home and find a X'mas present sitting on my doormat, especially after a day like today. I am deeply touched by his sweet thought and kind wishes.

Section Christmas Party

I didn't expect Waiheke would be such a nostalgic place for me. The emotion was so overwhelming that I barely sustained myself. Fortunately, ppl were so into their X'mas joyful mood and no one seemed to mind/notice/care my quietness. The vineyard was further into the island, which helped a lot to get over my pathetic sentimentality. I quickly tucked myself into the shimmering valley of beautiful olive groves, grapevines, ambience, unlimited alcohol supply, hot/attractive waitress and croquet.

The weather was perfect and everything seemed to be so much funnier at the time. I remember that everyone was laughing at the most trivial things for the entire afternoon. Must be the alcohol!!

Richard Fish award - Who has been the biggest perve this year? The nomination are:

• J for txting S (a guy) using C's phone "You are so hot without your cloth on!"
• J for txting Anita, "Like the stars in the skies, your eyes lit up the universe. Like the milky way in the universe, you're the most mysterious creature on earth."
• J for asking Anita "What is your hourly charging rate on K'd Rd?"

The work/life balance award - For the person who achieved the impossible.
"The winner is... Anita for all the extracurricular activities she is doing!"
"On K'd Road!!" Someone shouted out!
"No! OFF K'd Road" Someone else corrected it.
"^$%*$^%&..." What can I say, except taking my shot!

P.S. Trust me! It was much funnier at the time.

She Resigned!

I knew it was coming, but it was still a shock when I found out she is leaving!

I am happy for her as I know it's time for her to move on and grab a better opportunity. However, What about the poor little ME?!!

Without her,
who is gonna give me all the techinical guidance?
who is gonna protect me from all the blame?
who is gonna dodge a bullet for me when I am overloaded?
who is gonna share/start all the gossip?
and who is gonna do all the murmur so I don't have to?

She has made my last 8 months so enjoyable at work and it's really sad to see her go. I guess I have to grow up a bit and be more responsible now ;)

I wish I could say something smart;
I wish I could give more comfort;
I wish I could be more helpful,
but I feel really helpless at this moment!

I would give you a hug;
A hug without me saying anything;
A hug that lasts as long as you need!
I would give you all my love,
if only it would ease you with less struggle

I wish there is more time for you
but I hope you seize every moment
To do whatever you need to do;
To say whatever you need to say;
To forgive whoever you need to for giving;
To forget whatever you need to for getting;
To love whoever you need to love.

21st and X'mas in the Park

21st birthday party?! Yes, I know that it seems weird that I still hang out with that age group, but come on! I am not far off from that age group, aren't I? Don't answer that!

I wasn't prepared to see him there as I double checked with the birthday boy about who were gonna be there and his name wasn't mentioned. I noticed myself talking to everyone but saved him for the last. He probably was feeling as awkward as I was, so we managed to avoid each other easily at the beginning. Then, after I was more grounded, we finally had some pleasant chat and everything seemed normal afterward. It was a lovely night to catch up with everyone, esp with him.

I left around 1am and had to get up to do my car service at 8am the next day. I was so tired that I couldn't repeat my cellphone number to the mechanic. I was like,
"021-25.....no I mean 021-2115...Doh!.....Can I just write it down? :$"

After reading my book for 3 hours at McDonald with a coffee and a breakfast, and $500 later, I finally got my car home safely. I then went to the Christmas in the Park to do fundraising for Youthline, so I can get a free feed and a free T-shirt :P I was actually pretty good at selling! I may consider it as my 2nd career :P. As far as I am concerned, the target market were definitely little kids with big family and group of friends with bf/gf!!

The firework was so incredible that totally made up for the rain and the cold. I was jumping and jaw-dropping while I was watching the firework. It was a magical moment that everything around me seemed to blend into the background and it was just me and the fabulous firework. The night ends with a warm friendly goodbye which left me timidly at a loss for words.

"Hey, how has your evening been? Would you like to buy a Santa hat to keep you/your kids/family/partner warms?"

"How about a light stick?"
"Does it keep me warm?"
"Umm....for a while?!"

You and Me

I am so sorry to hear what you have gone through. None of it is your fault! Please stop blaming yourself because nothing justifies what he did! What happen to you should have never happened, my dear child.

I know that everything seems so helpless and hopeless to you and you feel you can't trust anyone anymore. However, there are good ppl out there and I hope one day you will be able to find ppl whom you can trust, love and be loved again. Your amazing strength has impressed and inspired so many others and I deeply believe that one day you will embrace all these and offer so much more to the ppl who around you.

Hang in there, my dearest child. When you are ready in your own time, I'll be sharing that moment of joy with you side by side.

It was a wonderful feeling to have something to look forwards after work - to be back home to the loved one.

Oh! TV!

Free

I have been

• TV free;
• Car free - I finally got around and fixed it;
• Cellphone free - I left it in my car with the mechanic;
• Internet free - It just gave up on me for 2 days;
• Bank card free - I left it with my mechanic when I went to picked up my car/cellphone (It was rather embarrassed when I couldn't pay my 1kg of cherry and 3 packs of strawberry at vege shop).
  

They all happened in this week.. Oh well, at least I got free lunch twice this week :P

Lunches

I felt slightly uncomfortable when she brought me her home-made lunch on Monday for real. But I have never expected that her innocent-naive new buddy would go down the same path and let me get my own way - hand-made my lunch too :P I felt really embarrassed about it when he gave me his fresh made sandwiches :$ See, I still have a little bit of conscience (for a little while before the evil eroded me)

I should really stop bullying my colleagues, eh? But I just can't say no to free lunch, can I? :P

So far, we have squeezed a birthday chocolate cake out of another new colleague this Monday, and today I have also successfully extorted a free lunch. Those poor fresh meat better learn their lessons quick because we obviously have no mercy on them :P I have no guilt to be part of these scams and take the initiative to take care/integrate/blackmail those new commers, as long as they leave my buddy alone. :P

My Addiction

I made a pact with the angel, but I broke it during the weekend coz I was too bored. Sometimes, I think I am addicted to the pain. It's the only reason I could think of why I keep doing things that can only hurt myself! Maybe they are right - Because it feels so good when I stop (Gray's Anatomy,2005).

Now, I am cellphoneless again.

Chocolate Fountain! Turkey!!

I got chocolate all over my jacket, but it was all worth it. Mmmm.....Chocolate Fountain!!!! 12 kg of melt chocolate with fruits and marshmallows. Ohhooo.....It was just like heaven!! It is not it!! There is more!!!! With my proud messy chocolate jacket, I then went to my first ever Thanksgiving Dinner. It was sooooo yummmmmm!!!!! The turkey, the pumpkin pie, the paella, the almost-Greek-bread etc etc etc....

It was a glory day for my stomach!!!!

Humour v.s. Insult

I have never been good at giving negative feedback to others because I have always been a people pleaser; nice, they call me. Thus, I tend to bottle up my anger rather than express it. However, this time I found the need to express my feeling truly. Thus, I told them that I wasn't amused and I didn't think those hurtful commons were necessary. I was quite impressed with myself that I decided to do something different this time, because it really brought my colleagues and I closer. (Humm....it may have something to do with me sending those emails at one o'clock in the morning after my X'mas party, but it was the only time I was free. Maybe that's why they took me so seriously...:P)

This incident really get me to think not only how I deal with my anger, but also the thin line between "being funny" and "hurting someone else feeling". Early this week, a friend of mine kindly told me that she disliked the way I mocked at her. I appreciated her honesty deeply and I sincerely feel sorry for what I did. I have been on both ends that I have hurt someone and have also been hurt by unintentional jokes. Now, I am extremely carefully when I make fun of ppl and I still contemplating to find that right balance to be a truly fun person to be around.

Wayne

I am not a Christian, but I was very moved by this poem, just like how I was deeply touched by Wayne's strength, courage and spirit.

It has been an honour to meet you, Wayne. The time we spent was brief, but truly inspirational.

You struggle no longer, the Answer to our prayers,
Stripped from our lives, your death was our fears.
You fight no longer for time in this life,
A house to have, to hold, a wife.
Oh how vain are these things, in light of His will,
Against our understanding, the old you lay still.
A trying time for your strength and your faith.
Glorifying, all times you put God in His place.
A man I cannot outgrow, a man now without age,
An inspiration you'll be, til my very last page.
I thank you, Brother, on behalf of all learnt,
Your spirit never dull, by God's love you burned.
Our bodies are made to last a lifetime,
But Wayne, with your soul,
What body would contain?
What body would hold?

- Laban Cole

Follow up to the Closure of Anita Entertainment Ltd

With my best friend *pause* TV still in ICU, I can only sort of listening to it, rather than watching it. However, it's okay as I have been an expert in listening to TV with years experience since I was a kid! Oh....my good old time! Sneaking behind my parents back and secretly tuning my radio to listen in TV at my room was my biggest enjoyment back then, so was my school friends'. Why? Because I would spend the rest of the week storytelling them the weekly soap drama during every lunch time - the early "Anita entertainment Ltd". All you need is good imagination and creativity and then you can enjoy TV blindly!!

I went to my "retail therapy" today and I couldn't resist the temptation to admire those colour, non-twisted, steady, and workable televisions. I can't remember how long I was standing in front of those televisions but I have never felt so completed since I lost my best friend. *sniff* *sniff* It was a moment of joy and proud!! I almost forget that there could be colours on TV!!! That's how sad it was!!!!

"You listen to the TV over ICU? Anita you need help :-P"

Firework

It was really exciting to see others burning money. Well, that's my definition of firework anyway :P

I guess there was a reason why I was only allowed to play sparklers. What a discrimination!! Never mind. After I showed my dedication by burning my finger, they finally let me play with those big bang fireworks - Very impressive, but so overrated as it only last few seconds (Hum....like many other things....:P)

Car

I learned how to change tyres and washed my car this afternoon!

Anything gets me not to study, eh?

Fairy Tales

Let's believe in fairy tales again - together.

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.

- Meredith, Grey's Anatomy (2005)

At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.

- Meredith, Grey's Anatomy (2005)

I Panicked

I panicked!
I had too many thoughts,
With too little time,
Which I didn't know at the time.

I panicked! I panicked!
No start time was recorded,
So the call wasn't able to be traced.
It was entirely
MY FAULT.

I wish I had followed my instinct
I wish I had done what I should have done
I mucked up big time!
I wish I didn't screw up the little girl's life.

I panicked! I panicked! I panicked!

Karma

Karma works in a mysterious way. However, in this case, it was just not fair!!!

Arrrh!!!

She shouldn't have had suffered for what her brother had done. She is a lovely girl and he was such a jerk! I was screaming and angry inside, but I couldn't say what I wanted to say out loud because I knew it would have been for the wrong reason. It would have been for me, rather than for her and I would have definitely regretted it. I am glad that I wasn't swayed by my feelings or acted rashly, but still it really irritated me to see her get hurt the way I did.