An Unproductive Week
"Why are you still here? You shouldn't be here! Didn't you finish your thesis? You should really go on holiday?" He said.
"If not for months, at least a weekend. The backpack in bay of island is only about $20." He said.
"Or Waiheke Island" She jointed in.
"You really need to go out and refresh yourself a bit before you come back seriously. It's for your own good" He added.
"You like movies eh? Then, you should go and rent all the DVDs or go have some fun. You shouldn't stay late! That's just wrong" He said.
I must have look pretty shit these days coz everybody is asking me the same thing - why don't you take a holiday? and keep reminding me that I could really use a good long holiday. I am really tired of answering that without getting even more depressed. But seriously I am really not getting anything done these days. My productivity at work is nearly zero. My mind is shut, my mood is grey, I can't remember how to smile and all I want to do is writing my Blog to get my thoughts down.
It's almost 9pm on a Friday night and I am still at Bio. I think they are right. I am pathetic!!
"If not for months, at least a weekend. The backpack in bay of island is only about $20." He said.
"Or Waiheke Island" She jointed in.
"You really need to go out and refresh yourself a bit before you come back seriously. It's for your own good" He added.
"You like movies eh? Then, you should go and rent all the DVDs or go have some fun. You shouldn't stay late! That's just wrong" He said.
I must have look pretty shit these days coz everybody is asking me the same thing - why don't you take a holiday? and keep reminding me that I could really use a good long holiday. I am really tired of answering that without getting even more depressed. But seriously I am really not getting anything done these days. My productivity at work is nearly zero. My mind is shut, my mood is grey, I can't remember how to smile and all I want to do is writing my Blog to get my thoughts down.
It's almost 9pm on a Friday night and I am still at Bio. I think they are right. I am pathetic!!
2 comments:
HI Anita
you haven't left anything since your last depression memo. are you still feeling unhappy ? I see the same old name on msn, so i am assume you are still in the same state.
Believe it or not, I actually do understand your depression, maybe not so much of the cause of it but the recommendations part from friends... I am sure they are just trying to help you get out of the pessimistic thought. Though its not really helping at this moment when you feel "being supportive" is all you need right now.
I really want to share you aweful pain only I am not in NZ at the moment. I don't know what to say afraid I am just make it worse. But what i know is, Love is nothing without pain. Things might not always look the way you planned. Many time you might ask yourself " why do I have to put up with all this ? " . But just remember, you already knew it because you 2 have been dating for the past 3-4 years ? this aint a suprise, only that the time has come to really face it and make the hard decision.
Ask youself the question "are you willing to give up everything for him ? "
if yes - it means now and ever and no regrets ( this is assuming he will not change and comprise because u love him the same as it is), which (finger crossed) live happily ever after. but
if no - it doesn't make you a bad person and don't think its a shame after having so much between u 2, because its better for you to decide now than live so unhappily everyday fear it from happening. Think from a different perspective, you may be saving yourself from yourself.
The burden you carry is brought upon by youself, therefore, its you who can only unleash it
you may think "oh ya~ what do i know ". True, I may not know at least from your situation, but I am currently also facing the BIG B too and unwillingly.
Bret
Post a Comment