國父革命十次失敗，第十一次才成功
小女子我，沒那麼偉大！
三次足夠了！！

I Give Up! :@

I tried again

- and still no success.

However, it's amazing that nothing ever made us awkward, but trust and comfort.

Arrhhh!!! :@ I hate that when he is on my tail!!! Despite how much I dislike him, I feel sorry for him as he is such a bad communicator. He is very smart, but he can't explain things in a constructive way!

I was glad that I finished it but it was such a stressful afternoon!

However, I was lucky to be invited to their dinner. The lasagna was great at their place and I was utterly naughty and stirring as usual :p I hope they don't mind and still invite me over next time :$

"Are you ready to go? or do you want me to go down and pick her up?" He asked.

"Oh..yeah, I finish it now." said I, as I was shutting down my PC. "Oh...WAIT!...I think I will take a bit longer ;)." I turned to him and changed my mind. "Go on, go and see her first...after all it has been....how long? 66 hours?? that you two hasn't seen each other! I am not that inconsiderate even I know I am crashing for the dinner tonight :p"

"Do you want another Kiss (Baci - Italian chocolate)?" She said to him after we all had one. But before he could reply, I interrupted
"Yeah...I think he would like one, but with a real kiss at the same time ;)"

Finished Harry :)

I just couldn't put Harry down! How could I? It was midnight when I started reading the big battle! I had to finish it even it meant I will be like a zombie tomorrow!

Yeah!!! Now people can talk to be about Harry Potter :D

Patronus

EXPECTO PATRONUM!

"I can image it must be really frustrating for you at the moment. However, it is not appropriate to direct your anger at me as I am just here trying to help. I can understand your request and I am happy to transfer you as I know it's important for you to connect with someone right now. However, if you don't stop this abusive manner, I'll be forced to end this call."

Shaking

I was shaking after I ended the call... :#

People, Stuff;
Mother, Angry;
Me - Abused!

It was good that I had Harry with me to calm me down. However, 4 hours later...

- I am still shaking!

The Verdict

Disappointing :(, but understandable

He noticed my uneasiness tonight and I was surprised that how easy it is to talk to him (oh well, I have to admit that I adapted my 16 years old kid strategy). There was no conclusion, but I was really glad that we could be so open and honest to each other. We have very similar angles tackling this idea, which is really amazing.

We are again in a mirror situation, except this time we are looking at each other.

A Crazy Idea

I must spent too much time out in the cold during my exile because I have had this crazy idea :$ ever since our lunch on Tuesday. I thought it's just one of my random thoughts, but it has been in my mind longer than usual this time.

I don't think it's worth doing anything about it as he is too important to me. I am afraid this crazy idea will eventually ruin what we have.

Home Sweet home!!

After 39 hours exile, I finally step into my own house!! I am so gonna win some X'mas award for this - locking myself out of my house AGAIN :$! I was lucky to have a place for the night while I was waiting for the key. Thank to her family for the dinner, shower, warm bed, PJ, socks, toothbrush, and breakfast.

When I finally get hold on my neighbour this morning ( :o yes, I was wearing the same cloth to work for two days!), I was so relieved that I forgot to ask him to hide the key somewhere. Bad Bad Call!!!! I got home today and again couldn't get in!! :( Stars were my good friends for the last two days!

I finally get in at 9:30 pm!!!!! Oh bed, my sweet bed!!

I am Spoiled

He came in with MacDonald food, boiled some hot water for me, took me out for lunch, help me with laundry, carried 18 cans of coke for me to the beach, went skiing with us and insisted to deliver my favourite breakfast - Bacon and Egg Muffin tomorrow morning.

I felt spoiled, but I can't help but think he is going to get hurt.

Then, she said she is dropping a secret letter for me tomorrow...
Love letter, I demand ;) We will see, what exactly it is!

I did it!

I don't know how, but I did it.

I just knew that I have to do it, even every rational part of me disagreed. It's really silly or even stupid act even when I looked back now. It doesn't make any sense at all to me or anyone else, but I am glad that I went and I am proud of myself hiding behind that sunglasses. I still don't know how I am feeling. Time will tell.

And for all my dear friends,
Thank you for not asking questions;
Thank you for support emails and txts;
Thank you for being in the toilet;
Thank you for not hugging me in the office;
Thank you for disapproving my action by refusing taking me there;
Thank you for giving us the car without question;
Thank you for organising the car and driving me there;
Thank you for coming to see me and all the offering.

Thank you guys for being my friends.

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?

- Almost Lover, A Fine Frezy

I am surprised that I didn't react much last night when I found out the news.

Emotion comes and goes today, which I couldn't do anything about it like I couldn't do anything about his leaving. I don't know how I am feeling, but it has been intensive. Sad and some desire are the only two things I can name. I want to see him; I want to hug him goodbye, but at the same time I know I can't. I never expect it would be so hard.

I am pretty drunk now or I may finally have the courage to go and see you. It's not Harry I want to be in my arms tonight, but you, for the last time.

she cried and she cried, and she cried and she cried
She cried so long her tears ran dry

- L.A. Song, Beth Hart

A month Salary

How quickly can I spend all my one month salary?
2 hours! :o

How does it make me feel?
POOR!

Nowhere

I got really frustrated as I realise that I still don't know where to put him.

Nowhere seems right;
Nowhere seems suitable;
Nowhere seems to settle;
Nowhere to let it go completely...

"You don't look like someone who came in and said who was happy!"
- She seems always to bring out the worst of me

8 hours a day is hardwork!

In order to make a good impression and also due to poor public transport to my new job, I have been arriving in the office by 8 am and leave after 5:30 pm in the last couple of days. I have never worked so hard in my life!! :p

My new workspace is shared with my supervisor in an office, so my goal of opening my new snack shop here is tougher than I thought! Also, because of not being open-plan, I find it harder to socialise with others, resulting in less mucking around and more productive! During lunch break, I am on my desk most of the time to reach out the outside world. My laptop is not allowed to connect to their network, so I have to live with "Dial-up"! :o Jesus, the speed is so slow! I can't believe that I used to be able to tolerate it before broadband came to my life!

Apart from working hard, I actually really enjoy my new role here. There is a lot of new technical knowledge for me to learn and people are generally very friendly to teach me new method. My supervisor seems happy about my work and trust my ability. There are other friends, working around the same area, have already invited me out for lunch to help me explore their favorite cafes and make me feel welcome :D

Back "home", colleagues claim that it's quiet and less fun while I am away and they all miss me. In fact, I miss them them too. I am actually quite homesick, but it's a great opportunity for me to add good value in my career so I intend to work hard in the next two months.

"What?! :o You are in before 8 am??" said my colleague, with an unbelievable astonishing voice "But...but, you don't come in until 9 am here! or even later!"

Helloooo~~~ Harry!

"Am I sleeping with Harry tonight?" I asked wickedly ;)
"Yes" was the answer.

So, here I am, having Harry in my arms and am looking forwards to an amazing night! Though, I think I should ban him from my bedroom, because I could see myself with a very little sleep from now on.

My Bunny in Shiny Armour

He told her off and asked her to leave me alone. I know that he wants to be my knight in shiny armour and protected me but the truth is I don't need him to shield me from gossip. I INVENTED it! Remember?!

The Power of Red

I have been suffering from neck pain for months, so I thought I'll go and buy a new pillow!

Surrounding by so many different types and prices pillows, I was lost. After looking around for a while, I made up my mind to choose this one - simply because it was in a RED package! Yeah, why not! When you have no idea which one to choose, any indication is better than nothing! Oh! Then I found out that the red one was also having a 30% off sale and it ended up to be the best value pillow!!! See, follow the power of red is right!!

I also needed some strong muscle men to help me move my dead best friend - TV, so I sent out the request. In a minute, I had 100% successful responses and they were all keen on help me! Thank you guys!! Now I just need to cook a pot of chicken curry to feed this army!

"Buddy, do you want my TV? I can swap mine (29") with yours (21") " said my buddy with his usual innocent smile. "Or, you can take mine and I'll go and buy a smaller one for myself!"

- What a cute buddy I have! :D

The End

He was running late, so I went wondering around the market and bought some wool socks for my cold feet. How come I have never thought about this idea before! It feels so good and warm!!!! :)

Tonight, we went to see Perfume: The Story of A Murder first. It's actually quite a main-stream film, I found. It's a thrilling story about this guy killing women to make the best/powerful perfume in the world. My heart went with him totally and didn't mind the killing at all. The music was really appealing too.

We then had few hours to kill before our next film, so we went to have some dinner. He tried to tell me how wrong it is to go to Denny's when his friend organising a night out. It was quite hard for me to understand his point as food is food and as long as I am not cooking it, I enjoy any food generally speaking. However, when he started using "Shoes" as an analogy, it made much more sense strangely!

Anyway, the LAST of my eight film festival movies is a Korean film - No mercy for the Rude. (Any loyal reader wants to take my challenge to list them all? ;)) It's in a quite bloody and cute kind of way. I think I have to watch more of this direction's films to understand his style more. After the film it was almost midnight and I was really tired, but I decided we should go to Denny's so I can experience what he meant as I had never been to Denny's. Well, I still think the place is okay, but now I sort of can relate to his feeling. It's like when you are looking for a pair of shoes, sometimes, the style, the price, the colour, the size and the comfort aren't all that perfect for you. When that happens, it's really annoying! Apparently, it's like that for him. When he is looking for a nice night out with friends, going to Danny's is just too disappointing.

By the time, I drop him back to his car, it was really late and I was absolutely too exhausted to go anywhere but home (Universe has a mystery way loving me!). Then his surprising sniffing my neck gave me a stun as we hugged goodnight to each other.

"What's that for?" I said with a puzzled expression on my face. "You know," smiled he with a child-like grin, "like the movie Perfume :p"

"No...we aren't going to get you alcohol tonight! Not after what I heard about what happened to you last time!"
"Oh..nononon. We better get you out of here. You were right! You does have some gambling problem!"

- I DO NOT have a drinking or gambling problem. Really!