Risk Assessment: Low
They say it gets harder before it gets easy, but I don't think I am even starting the hard bit yet and I have been feeling miserable for too long to be strong. It gave me a shudder in the other day that I felt I was planning a grand farewell before ending my life as I was kicking my housemate out and planning my trip to Europe (Risk assessment: Low). Then as I was giving advice on self-harm, I was talking from my heart. Now, I feel I am writing to cry for help. The more I am doing this, the less I like myself and the lower my self-esteem goes.
This process has made me feel vulnerable and not-in-a-relationship makes me even insecure. I am feeling so miserable that I just want someone (a knight in shiny armour); in fact, anyone to save me from this. It's really depressing that right now I just want a relationship with no strings attached or commitment so someone can put some joys into my miserable life, so I can feel wanted, so I can feel comfortable/safe to dump/share my progress and not feel it's a burden to my friends.
Anyone knows anyone who may be interested in this job?
This process has made me feel vulnerable and not-in-a-relationship makes me even insecure. I am feeling so miserable that I just want someone (a knight in shiny armour); in fact, anyone to save me from this. It's really depressing that right now I just want a relationship with no strings attached or commitment so someone can put some joys into my miserable life, so I can feel wanted, so I can feel comfortable/safe to dump/share my progress and not feel it's a burden to my friends.
Anyone knows anyone who may be interested in this job?
6 comments:
You are loved!
You may not think so right now, but you are important to many people, and have brought joy and humour into the lives of others. Things haven't gone the way you might have dreamed, but Anita: you are irreplaceble!
So you haven't met the right person for you yet. That can change pretty quickly, and for most people I know it seems to happen when they aren't even looking....
Meanwhile, why don't we catch a movie or something on Weds?
...you can 'dump' your progress on me, then when your knight comes along later you can leap out from behind a tree and gnab him! :)
I am here if you need me Love.
Dear Anita. I dont want you to have just anyone, i want you to find that special one (with a white horse or not) cause you deserve that. Some times it just takes time, more than you think. Just hang in there! You know where to find me.
I am always here for you. Picking "anyone" will only be twice as hurt... I know because I did.
Thank you guys for your support.
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