My first week at work

The first week has been really fast and fantastic!! Ppl at the office are really nice to me and the projects that I am working on are all interesting. However, just ask me again in a month time (Humm...that would be the paid day or actually try in 2 months) and don't be surprised that I may give you the totally opposite answer :P

I also have more confidence now in my abilities at workforce after a week. My multi-culture background, board knowledge/interests, variety of life experience and cheerful personalities make it easier than ever to network with all sort of different ppl. I feel very comfortable at work even I know the least of what transportation is all about. I am very satisfied/surprised at myself picking up everything so quickly and methodically. My 6 years E-sci training has been proven to be very handy and relevant at work! It gives me the easy attitude towards any software packages and modelling consideration. On top of that, the Masters training helps me ask the crucial/right questions and allow me to absorb all the concepts at once. To my surprise, my Slovakia project management experience has been also very useful in all the file management and administration stuff!!

Getting up so early and taking the bus to work everyday don't bother me at all. In fact, it has always been my favourite time of the day since my university life. It doesn't matter either I let my thoughts wander around freely or ponder some issues in my life. Most of important thing is, I spend some time with myself alone!! Of course, there are few things that I find very annoying and am still trying to get used to. I don't mind dressing up everyday (I rather enjoy it), but I hate ironing. Actually, I am helpless to do ironing myself! Wearing uncomfy shoes also gets me! Why can't everyday being the Global Casual Dress Day :(

I feel like writing a short update of this significant week, because there were so much happening...

• Monday - First day at work! I love my buddy! She is very sweet (was using 'nice', but apparently, it became too cliche because I describe everyone I liked for first impression 'nice'!) and gave me a super detailed introduction. She is a German! That's probably why she is so nice :P. I also received two txt messages from friends to check on my first day at work. Thank you, guys.

• Tuesday - Learning transportation modelling package was fun! However, I was also feeling very exhausted in that evening already and the week was still not even half way yet!! I blamed the shoes! Actually, the real reason that made me a bit depressed was I found myself got lost in a huge crowd during the company annual function. The feeling of not fitting in a group was back. You thought after so much moving around and changing environments, you will find a better and better way to deal with this feeling, but NO! It was as hard/awkward as my first time of changing school. I escaped from the event and run away clumsily with my buddy. The loneliness made me miss someone so much and that upset me even more. That night, the person unblock me in MSN and said 'hello' to me out of the blue though. It made me feel slightly better.

• Wednesday - Hello! Sunrise! It was a long day as I had to do my first site visit at 7am. I had seen 5000 Aucklander stories at a glance in 6 hours. The traffic survey wasn't a rocket science, but I got to watch the traffic for 6hours. It reminded me the person that I used to watch traffic with. I missed the time we had with some fresh bread from the nearby bakery. It also refreshed my memory of few ppl that I used to watch girls passing by and gave rating out of 10. I missed them. There was no cloud at all and my new sunglasses became very practical indeed. I also learned to appreciate the speed limit sign as it was the only shade that was available for the entire day. I shifted along the shadow playing my own hide (in the shadow) and see (the traffic). The truck drivers liked to say hi to me, which often gave me a fright. Their friendly gestures - honking, made me feel like I am part of transportation, so I kindly waved back to them :) Sitting on the concrete barrier, however, was such a pain in the butt (literally!)
  

• Thursday - Starting my first real modelling project in Tauriko! I run into an old friend outside of my company, who I hadn't seen for a year! He kept asking me what happened to me coz I apparently looked great (I guess, my business woman outlook with my straight hairs can fool so many ppl), then I run through all the possible reasons until he was satisfied. His nearly offensive black-humour personal attack made me so stunned that I didn't know how to reply like always. Hopefully, we can find some other time to have a drink or dinner to have a proper catch up next week. Like a date? You never know ;) I also received an email from Spain who I haven't had a contact with since last May. Today was a lost&found friends day!

• Friday - Yeah, no uncomfy shoes coz it's casual Friday!! I thought I would have to say byebye to all my long breaks and long lunch after I start working, but today we had morning tea which ppl take turns to bring different sweet and savoury food, then I had a 2hours lunch with my new colleagues and there was the Friday drink. However, I worked very hard for the rest of the day at another project and billed them all to our client. My hourly rate isn't cheap!

Memory folder

昨夜，相思是蠶 (Last night, missing was like a silkworm )
而我是那桑葉 (And I was that mulberry leaf)

- A quote that I liked a lot since senior high school

There has been a few letters, cards and postcards cumulating everywhere in my room since I came back from Slovakia in 2004. It was time to dust and put them away, I thought, as I am about to start another new page of my life - working, tomorrow.

I read through my love and frindship traces in the last two years and sorted them by name and time. There are people who left me, who are still continuesly walking beside me for many years, who rejoined my journey again, and of course who start new exciting pages in my memory folder. I really appreicate everyone who were part of my life in the last two years. All those memory are either joyful, proud, enlighting, depressing, frustrating, agnry, painful, or hurt, but they are all priceless to me. Each page tells a wonderful story. Some are still too heavy or sensitive to touch and some which I know no more messages are going into. Sadly, it's time to seal them and put them away. Time will heal all the negative emotions and the next time when I reopen my memory folder, they will be just a part of stories amount others.

Meanwhile, I would like to quote one of the messages that I recived to thank all who loved/love me and be part of my life journey for either bring me lessons or joys. Thank you for being there.

Some things are worthwhile
No matter what they cost.
The memories alone are priceless.
You are worthwhile.

- A lost love

Hamilton Trip

"Can you bring Wendy when you come to visit us?" She asked.
"Wendy? Do I know any Wendy?" I was very puzzled.
"Yes, Wendy's, the burger!!"

That's right, there is no Wendy's in Hamilton and they haven't had it for more than a year!! So my mission to Hamilton had never ever been so important and meaningful. Not only I can expand my safety driving territory and visit friends, but also bring down 4 burgers and nuggets WARM!! The driving was very pleasant except it was a bit hard to keep the speed under 120km/hr. The food was delivered with love and warmness (literally!) after one and a half hours and I had the best Wendy's ever because I was eating it them. I am glad that I took the trip down as I had a very fun and educated afternoon to catch up. I also learned so much about the World of War (Computer game), car, driving technique, cheese, milk, lemon&honey tea, hip replacement and sex education (Yeah, with the textbook illustration! Very informative!!)

I had to leave before it all got too dark because I can't see at night. Besides, I needed to see my patient back in Auckland as the irresponsible Love Doctor. After an hour consultation dinner, I decided to go home, even though I was also invited to sing Karaoke and play badminton. However, I was a bit tired after this long day (Silly Wendy's doesn't open until 10am, which made me wait for an hour until it opened!).

Yeah!! It's great to visit friends!
Yeah!! It's even better to drive alone to Hamilton and back without killing anyone on the road :)

Going once, going twice...ANITA SOLD!

After consulting with various friends and family constantly around the world this week, I finally made the decision of who I should sell myself to. I will start my first real job next Monday and I look forwards to this new page of my life.

During the last 2 weeks, I have realised a couple of things. First, how many similarities between a job and a relationship and how much you can learn from one to the other. For example,

1. Job v.s. Partner hunting
2. Company research v.s. Finding out more about the persons who you may be attractive to.
3. Showing the interest by either having a vacancy ads or the cold letters to companies v.s. Asking ppl out for the first dates. Of course, it's totally ethical to show multiple interests in different companies/candidates/girls/guys at this stage.
4. Job v.s. Love CV. I just thought it would be interested to write a Love CV where instead of having the Work Experience section, you have a Love Experience where you put down the dates, and some description about your previous relationships. Of course, you need to spend some time to work on your Love CV to make sure you sell yourself well and you have learned so much from them.
5. Interview v.s. Date. Making sure you feel equal and comfortable with the other party during the interview/date. It's not only for the other party to get to know you, but also for you to find out more about the other party.
6. Reference checking v.s. Finding more about your date by asking his/her friends.
7. Job offer v.s. Would you like to be my boyfriend/girlfriend. Sure, now things get more serious and exciting, and it's time to make the decision. Would you like to make the commitment with the other party now or maybe there are jobs/someone better going to happen to you latter? So, you take some time to compare all the pros and cons of all your offers and decide what's the best for you.
8. Contract and review v.s. Love contract and love review. It's another thing that I thought it would be cool to have in a relationship. You can negotiate what you want from the relationship and how you like to be rewarded. And the best of all, you can renew your love contract every now and then. You also need to review your relationship often. Whether or not both parties are happy with each other is important! Are you ready to take the relationship to the next level?
9. Resignation v.s. Breaking up. Both need a great deal of maturity from both parties.
10. Bottom line is there is no such thing as a perfect job or a perfect partner. It's all about whether or not you are compatible with the other happily. If you stop learning and growing, it's time for you to move on. After all, NZers on average change their jobs 7 times, while the average number of partners is 10.5 around the world.

Okay, that came out unexpected! Let's get back to the other three important things that I actually benefited from my decision making this week. First, I found decision making simulation technique very useful. It was basically how I made my decision in the end. I picked one choice and see how much I like/hate that decision. Secondly, when I evaluated all the pros and cons of my job offers, I found out that I really want to go back to Europe at some stage. The company that I chose in the end, has less advantage in that concept, but as far as I am concerned now, it's all about being good at my field; I believe that I can easily find another job with my skills in Europe when the right time comes. Last but the most precious, I value all my friendships more than I knew. Two of my best friends are working at one of my job offer companies and I have never thought it would weight so much on my decision making. The last thing I would like to do is to jeopardise my friendships by working in the same team with them.

Anyway, here are the three main reasons that I took the job.

1. I like transportation more than environmental engineering.
2. I get along with this manager better. (I am scared of the other one slightly coz he doubted my English ability in both interviews.)
3. This job offers me a better benefit package overall. (It has nothing to do that they offer me a window seat!! Really!)

Me, too

I thought hearing someone called me the Love Doctor is pretty random, but I was wrong. The conversation that I had with my friend today was even weirder.

"Wow!! Look at you! You are amazing! You look so good and happy," That was what she said to me when we met up for a coffee. "What is new? What happened to you?"

"Huh? Am I?" I wasn't doing anything with my outfit as I was just being....me.
"Breaking up?!" (If that's the answer she was looking for...) *Eye-rolling*

"Me, too!!" She exclaimed with joy and excitement.
"Huh?" That was by far the strangest but the coolest response I have ever seen/imaged about hearing breaking up. "Oh My God?! You too?"
"Yeah!! Isn't it wonderful? I am so happy for you!!" Okay, that's just too outside-the-box thinking!

"When did you break up?"
"February."
"Me, too!!" This time was me exclaiming with joy and excitement.

The next thing I know, we were screaming and hugging at the Starbucks to celebrate (?) the news.

It's such a weird but joyful afternoon!

The last day of the summer

I finally went to Rangitoto Island for tamping after living in Auckland for almost 10 years. The weather was brilliant and the three companions were very pleasant to be annoyed by my are-we-there-yet trick. Sorry guys :P. I wasn't fit as you all would have expected if you have ever unfortunately gone tramping or playing sports with me, but they were all patient enough to wait for my enjoying-scenery-breaks. Those dark lava caves were my favourite. You can see nothing when we were crawling in there. We finally reached the top and I remembered why I keep coming back tramping - the breathtaking view (+ the long break they finally gave me and the food).

Under our Time-keeper's strict supervision , we got back to the ferry on time and had a few "friendly" card games on the way back to the city. Then, it's time to reveal the secret of bubble tea which my companions were so curious about from my blog. We had fun in that restaurant, with bubble tea investigation, magical crystals lost-and-found, and that never-ending table football until we almost lost the coin!!

I was exhausted after my shower, but I felt like having a quiet night with some friends coming over. It was organised as a DVD night, but we never got around to it. It was a very open minded evening with 2 open minded girls. We were there for each other's problems without judging until 3am when we barely had energy to continue a sentence. I knew it was time for the EVIL Absinth!! I played my favourite trick with sugar and fire for her and then I had a sip. Yuck! I forgot how disgusting this drink is!!

Just before we all agreed to go to bed, she said to me
"Anita, you are like a Love Doctor!"
"Huh? Why?" I was humble by that compliment.
"Because you seem to have all the answers for relationships." She continued.

The daylight saving ended that night and I have/was acknowledged what a big step I have taken in my life and how much I have grown in the last 4 months. I went to bed with a grin that night.

Goodbye, Summer!

Making a pact with the angel

I wasn't so panic or surprised when I found out that I lost my cellphone. After all, I have already had few sad days and nothing could upset me more. In a way, I was hoping it would be a turning point of my rollercoaster mood swing - a new start with my social life. I am sure the movie was really good because I was very lost. Anyway, my knowing kong-fu friend was kind enough to go back with me to the Albert Park where I was reading and helped me look for my phone after dark. Well, we didn't find it.

I got home and found the door highly secured - double locked and a chain. There was only my brother's gf home and she told me that some kiwi guy called for finding my cellphone in the park. She was scared because my brother gave him our address and then went out. I wasn't relieved nor disappointed, but tranquil about the whole thing. I wasn't so sure whether or not I wanted my phone back. I was only taking the ride passively without any emotion influences. We waited for two days without hearing further news about my cellphone as my brother didn't ask his contact detail.

Then, I remember what I was thinking on the bus home that evening. I was about to make a pact with the devil/angel. I was going to give up on something, if I could get my phone back. Thus, I rethought the pact and modified it to something is still hard to achieve, but good for my soul. I think I was dealing with the angel as what I am giving up is something really disgraceful.

"Sis!! Your phone is in the mailbox!!" That was the result on that evening. How freaky!

However, now I have my phone back. I start thinking what a pity!! I had those fantasies to meet this nice angel guy, but he only drop it in our mailbox anonymously. My knowing kong-fu friend thinks that was my plan all along and I should try car crashes next time, then I can get their address detail as well :P. I may take up his advice. It depends on how desperate I am. After all, cellphone is much cheaper than fixing cars!!

Taiwan Trip

I went back to Taiwan for 3 months and it was a life changing experience which has more effect on me than my 1 year in Europe. It wasn't so easy to grow 5 years old within 3 months, but I was forced to. A lot of my believes and values were completely destroyed and got rebuild again. They are what I believe more healthier and completed. Some of the processes came unexpected or even brutal. I had to learn them in a hard way, but it makes me a more understanding person now. I have found myself once again with wisdom and confidence.

It has been exactly one month since our breaking up. I have gone through blaming myself, feeling gutted, wanting to give it another try, moving on, finding out some news, feeling angry/betrayed/hurt/cheated, trying to be friends, trying to be a bigger person than I really am by giving my blessing, feeling very foolish, despising his disgrace behaviour, facing my real emotions and then now moving on with my own life. I thank all my friends who have supported me in all different ways in the last month. You help my healing by simply being there to listen, to provide me with your shoulders and wisdom, and to be more furious/shocked than I am. And I just love some of your first reactions! :)

Being alone doesn't equal to be lonely, I've found. Life is all about experiencing different things and be honest with yourself. It is his lose that he didn't get the chance to know the new me, but there is nothing keeping me from moving on now. I have been honest with him and myself for making all the effort in the last month. For me, that's all the matter. There are so many challenges that I was planning to add to my life and I have found the joy of fulfilling most of them by myself since I came back.

* 3 exhilarating job interviews + 1 job offer
* Gathering with the Taiwanese gang
* Driving to Bay of Plenty with my failed car warrant and catching up with the AIESEC gang
* Summer Shakespeare- The Comedy of Errors
* Been a candy Santa to catch up with the Bio gang
* Classic Comedy Show. I love Sam Wills! He made me laugh again
* Get involved with Youthline
* Library books by Paulo Coelho, Jostein Gaarder, Roald Dahl, C. S. Lewis
* Paid my vehicle license fee and get my Warrant of Fitness finally
* Organising 2 movie outings and 3 lunch dates for the coming week

I am sure the achievement list is getting longer and longer as I am also going to see Auckland Theater Company - Wheeler's Luck, dress shopping&girl's night and a lunch date in the next 3 days. I am looking forwards to my life and sharing them with all of you who care enough to read this blog.

ps. Oh~ If I ever lose my mind and am jumping into another relationship in the next 6months, please slap/hit me or kill that person :P