Taiwan Trip
I went back to Taiwan for 3 months and it was a life changing experience which has more effect on me than my 1 year in Europe. It wasn't so easy to grow 5 years old within 3 months, but I was forced to. A lot of my believes and values were completely destroyed and got rebuild again. They are what I believe more healthier and completed. Some of the processes came unexpected or even brutal. I had to learn them in a hard way, but it makes me a more understanding person now. I have found myself once again with wisdom and confidence.
It has been exactly one month since our breaking up. I have gone through blaming myself, feeling gutted, wanting to give it another try, moving on, finding out some news, feeling angry/betrayed/hurt/cheated, trying to be friends, trying to be a bigger person than I really am by giving my blessing, feeling very foolish, despising his disgrace behaviour, facing my real emotions and then now moving on with my own life. I thank all my friends who have supported me in all different ways in the last month. You help my healing by simply being there to listen, to provide me with your shoulders and wisdom, and to be more furious/shocked than I am. And I just love some of your first reactions! :)
Being alone doesn't equal to be lonely, I've found. Life is all about experiencing different things and be honest with yourself. It is his lose that he didn't get the chance to know the new me, but there is nothing keeping me from moving on now. I have been honest with him and myself for making all the effort in the last month. For me, that's all the matter. There are so many challenges that I was planning to add to my life and I have found the joy of fulfilling most of them by myself since I came back.
It has been exactly one month since our breaking up. I have gone through blaming myself, feeling gutted, wanting to give it another try, moving on, finding out some news, feeling angry/betrayed/hurt/cheated, trying to be friends, trying to be a bigger person than I really am by giving my blessing, feeling very foolish, despising his disgrace behaviour, facing my real emotions and then now moving on with my own life. I thank all my friends who have supported me in all different ways in the last month. You help my healing by simply being there to listen, to provide me with your shoulders and wisdom, and to be more furious/shocked than I am. And I just love some of your first reactions! :)
Being alone doesn't equal to be lonely, I've found. Life is all about experiencing different things and be honest with yourself. It is his lose that he didn't get the chance to know the new me, but there is nothing keeping me from moving on now. I have been honest with him and myself for making all the effort in the last month. For me, that's all the matter. There are so many challenges that I was planning to add to my life and I have found the joy of fulfilling most of them by myself since I came back.
* 3 exhilarating job interviews + 1 job offer
* Gathering with the Taiwanese gang
* Driving to Bay of Plenty with my failed car warrant and catching up with the AIESEC gang
* Summer Shakespeare- The Comedy of Errors
* Been a candy Santa to catch up with the Bio gang
* Classic Comedy Show. I love Sam Wills! He made me laugh again
* Get involved with Youthline
* Library books by Paulo Coelho, Jostein Gaarder, Roald Dahl, C. S. Lewis
* Paid my vehicle license fee and get my Warrant of Fitness finally
* Organising 2 movie outings and 3 lunch dates for the coming week
I am sure the achievement list is getting longer and longer as I am also going to see Auckland Theater Company - Wheeler's Luck, dress shopping&girl's night and a lunch date in the next 3 days. I am looking forwards to my life and sharing them with all of you who care enough to read this blog.
ps. Oh~ If I ever lose my mind and am jumping into another relationship in the next 6months, please slap/hit me or kill that person :P
2 comments:
hi sweetheart! just came back from skiing in suisse and i need to read ur block - kind of hard 2 believe what have happened after all that shit in the past. i'm here if you need me and i'm more than interested in ur next steps - may live finally bring u the kind of satisfaction and self-realization u where always looking for :-)
Hi Anita,
Im sorry its been such long time since I had a chance to read your blog and im sorry for what has happ to you recently. It sounds like your picking up the pieces quite nicely though. You know where I am if you need to talk or even visit!
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